'How To Keep House While Drowning - a gentle approach to cleaning and organising' by KC Davis. And how on earth am I going to summarise this book in a short review?
I highly recommend you read it. If you feel like you are drowning and for so many new and not so new parents (or perhaps not only parents, perhaps the new graduate vets, the residents, the new diplomates, those with other caring responsibilities or actually any of us juggling this beautiful crazy thing called life) this is truely how we feel.
KC Davis comes to this book with such care and non-judgemental understanding. She explores why we find these care tasks so difficult with such slow, quiet, gentleness. It is not a programme it is a philosophy. She challenges your thinking surrounding these tasks and challenges you to act with self-compassion.
I'm going to try to whet your appetite with three of my favourite takeaways:
1) Care tasks are morally neutral - BOOM! Mind blown. 'Does she really mean the fact my house is messy doesn't make me a bad person or a failure? Yes. Yet she is neither fettishising mess or squallor.'
2) Rephrase to be kind to future you - What if, as she gives the example, instead of 'Ugh, I should really go clean my house right now because it's a disaster' you said 'It would be such a kindness to future me if I were to get up right now and do .... That task will allow me to experience comfort, convenience, and pleasure later.'
3) What if you decided for a time that you don't actually have to fold laundry. It is ok to stuff kids (or indeed your own) clothes in boxes so they can get themselves and it is one less job for you.
For anyone who feels they are drowning in life admin and keeping a home running feels entirely impossible then this book is the warm hug and gentle encouragement you have been looking for.
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